And other truths I chose to ignore

I have been struggling with my stories lately, most of the last month or maybe longer. I wasn’t really worrying about it because well, the first book was written over two years and then edited over another. Why should the TWO books I have been working on suddenly appear in the last eight months?

I don’t push myself to write everyday. I am fully aware that that is the number one things writers are told is to make time to write everyday. For me though, there are some days when I can’t look at a screen without feeling a headache and some days when typing actually hurts so I write when I can. I am blessed that I don’t rely on my writing income to buy groceries or pay the mortgage, I have a hard working husband for that. Thank you Theo. So writing and the stories that come out of it are on my time, when I feel well, and can focus and actually have something to say.

The problem is that I have had time and good days and the writing that happens is what my grandmothers might have called pap, a flavourless slurry of water and grain that always reminded me of papermache, not the nutritious baby food that it was intended to be. So how had I lost the flavour and texture and nutrition from my writing? My characters had goals, the endings were already written, but I couldn’t seem to move forward.

Actually, that’s exactly where I was stuck with the stories. The characters were traveling in both stories. Traveling, talking, moving from one place to another and never arriving, anywhere. Yes they needed to change locations but I couldn’t seem to write what would happen next. They were stuck in this endless loop of movement without growth.

Sometimes I feel like I am in that same loop. Marking time, we called it in the military. Its the action of marching in spot while waiting for the next command. I get up everyday, do stuff that is necessary and then go to bed at night without anything meaningful being said or done. There is no growth, no change, no climax in my story and therefore no glorious ending.

I was up a little early today, but not moving well at first. This means I sit on the couch until medication kicks in and I read if I can. I reread one of my stories, another big no-no in the writing community. As I read I realized exactly what had gone wrong. It was so simple and obvious that I know that I missed it in the other story as well AND it was also true in my life too.

I don’t write Christian books that preach salvation. That is not my gift. I do write stories that encourage discussion about beliefs and activities like going to church and celebrating religious holidays and praying. The stories don’t make a big deal about it, it is just apart of people’s lives and for some people it isn’t, but it might be.

I have a religious curious character who is kind of out there on his own without a family or home, though he has good friends they aren’t always nearby or available. He has asked for help in the dark when he is scared and help has been there for him. He keeps meeting more and more people who also know a God or at least know about a God. They sometimes have different names like Creator or Lord and usually interact in different ways with their beliefs but he is beginning to think that maybe they are all the same God.

Before I had a chance to do any repairing of my stories it was time to go to church. Not the church I grew up with, not the church that I raised my children in or got married in. Its just a church. They preach the bible and the love of God and a mighty group of believers sing God’s praises, or in this morning’s service they sang ‘What a beautiful name it is, the name of Jesus’. The sermon was about the presence of the Holy Spirit. Accepting the invitation, being involved in the interaction and the experiencing the amazing impact of the Holy Spirit.

The pastor there uses the phrase regularly that every time you pray-something happens. Sometimes your prayer is answered, sometimes it changes the situation, and sometimes it changes you. I had forgot to pray. I forgot to accept the invitation. My God is always holding out His hands waiting for me to accept the help He is offering, I don’t have to ask for Him to come, He’s already here, just waiting on me. So I prayed. I reached for His hand and grew and moved forward again.

The characters in my stories had set out on their journeys, the lead up to a climax and the awaited endings. But they forgot to pray. Or really I had forgot to write that they prayed or talked or begged the Creator to make things happen. They wanted to end this situation and have it work out better than when they started. Just like I did but neither of us could move forward and grow and change without God. I went back and wrote in the prayers and discussions for my characters and now the journey is almost over. The end is in sight.

So pray and see what happens.

(I know I talk about my characters as if they are doing things I don’t have control over, but it is true. I put my fingers to the keyboard and some very surprising things happen that I have to write my way out of. Just trust me. This is what the creative process looks like for me. I am not actually crazy. Ask any writer.)

Challenge this week is to keep track of your prayers, exactly what did you ask for. Then keep track of what happens. Are they answered, changed or are you changed to suit God’s purpose? Note that this may take longer than a week. As that old Sunday school song goes, “Sometimes God answers wait when I pray”. But pray anyway, and grow a little more while you wait.